Matt Mauch

From the owner’s manual

“Realizing your potential” is controlled by a switch on the wall. It’s a standard on/off switch. For the price of a cheeseburger and a good beer your handyman may or may not be able to install a dimmer. If you’re handy enough to maybe or maybe not install it yourself, you probably call it a rheostat, probably hear the word rheostat and weep again for your dead grandfather, who left you all his money, which was none—it’s a fool who dies with it in the bank—then took the language with the word rheostat in it, the trick for installing it, to his grave. “Realizing your potential” being controlled as it is by a toggle on the wall, cheeseburgers and good beers being in this economy semi-precious, you job-shadow handymen like some nobody who believed it when they said (girls) you were a princess, or could grow up (boys) to be the President of the USA.